Monday, October 25, 2010

" Yet So"

Yet so far away, yet so close.
How can this be?
Someone so close to you.
Someone in your eyes are perfct, you look at him and everthing around you stops,
not a sound is heard.
Time seems to stand still.
Words in your mind, unable to speck.
You look around, you look at him, he is everything you have dreamed of and more.
You smile a smile that lights up an entire room.
Wanting to say what is on your mind.
Wanting to tell him what he is, means to you and only you.
How can one describe theses things?
Can it be put into words? Possable is this.
Feelings from long ago come flooding back.
For you are next to the one.
The one which you have been longing for. The one that ended your quest, then sent you back on your way.
Yet so far away, yet so close.
How can this be?



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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Love what is it?

What is this feeling or emotion called love? The word itself is very over used peace of vocabulary . Most people assocate love with the word and with gifts or tangible things. Now don't get me wrong all of that is nice.
Love to me is much more than a word or a gift. It to me is also more than emotion or feeling. Love is what you do, and how u show it. Love can make you do some really crazy things but it can also make you do what seemed impossable. Along with love you have fear. Fear can also make u do so crazy things. But unlike love fear can cause love to be hiden from view. If you think about it what have you done out fear and whom have hurt because if it? Just think about it, we have all done that at some point. Lord knows I have. Now think about love, what have you done out of love not for it but out of it? In my case fear has pushed people away to many really. But love out of love I have changed, I have looked at the sarow and pain and have made go away. I have look at the face if fear pushed aside. I have done the impossable and am doing the impossable. Or what I though was impossable. In my quest with love I am not looking to win I am looking to over come so that not one but all can see how strong I am, and the one person that needs to see it most can see that love can over come anything. With faith, beleaving in ur heart, and love anything can happen, it's then that the impossable becomes possable.


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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

As I Sit


I sit here and think about the past few days. I can see that the lord my God has me in his arms. Altought I may mot be eatting I have since changed my outlook on that, I am fasting. By doing so It is allowing me to see and hear things that I have not heard. The lord has my hand and he is taking the lead, I have more than I can handle and he is guiding through it, he has showen me why my heart was on fire in my dream that I had he started the process there. My heart and soul must burn I must be reduced to the ashes from which I came in order to rebuild me so that I can have the thing for which I desire. I awake this moring with a since of peace and comfort. I have never felt so close to god in so many years. The love that I have not that I am letting Him in and allowing myself to love him I will be able to show that love to the ones that one matter most and two to all that I can see it. I can see that my next lesson that I have to learn is faith. Faith is something that we just have, but we do not bleave in it, if I am to let god bring me back to my love for which he gave to me I must have faith and began to belive that it will come to foristion not in my time but his time for I am not ready and the gift is not ready to recive that yet. I have made promices that I have all intenctions of keeping, I took my vowes to that person and I am going to keep them I am going to stay selabet till that day comes which I am so look foward to. And god is going to be with every step along the way. The figure that see in the far off distance is the one I am in love with, I beleave that to be the trueth, I have prayed about it and I have aske god to bring us back together. But for that to happen I need to give him what he wants right now and that is space. I know I will remind him that I am here that I love him and that I am looking foward to the day we will be one again. For that is all that I can do. I have to beleave that it will happen i need to have faith and begin to feel it in my heart. For with not feeling it I am still denying god the ablity to being it forth.

You know this could be so much worse, he could have died. Just cherash and be joyful that he is alive, and still cares the world for and beleave that day is coming that we will be together again just have faith, you prayed for it and god will give it back to you when you abd he is ready.

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