" Yet So"

Yet so far away, yet so close.
How can this be?
Someone so close to you.
Someone in your eyes are perfct, you look at him and everthing around you stops,
not a sound is heard.
Time seems to stand still.
Words in your mind, unable to speck.
You look around, you look at him, he is everything you have dreamed of and more.
You smile a smile that lights up an entire room.
Wanting to say what is on your mind.
Wanting to tell him what he is, means to you and only you.
How can one describe theses things?
Can it be put into words? Possable is this.
Feelings from long ago come flooding back.
For you are next to the one.
The one which you have been longing for. The one that ended your quest, then sent you back on your way.
Yet so far away, yet so close.
How can this be?



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Love what is it?

What is this feeling or emotion called love? The word itself is very over used peace of vocabulary . Most people assocate love with the word and with gifts or tangible things. Now don't get me wrong all of that is nice.
Love to me is much more than a word or a gift. It to me is also more than emotion or feeling. Love is what you do, and how u show it. Love can make you do some really crazy things but it can also make you do what seemed impossable. Along with love you have fear. Fear can also make u do so crazy things. But unlike love fear can cause love to be hiden from view. If you think about it what have you done out fear and whom have hurt because if it? Just think about it, we have all done that at some point. Lord knows I have. Now think about love, what have you done out of love not for it but out of it? In my case fear has pushed people away to many really. But love out of love I have changed, I have looked at the sarow and pain and have made go away. I have look at the face if fear pushed aside. I have done the impossable and am doing the impossable. Or what I though was impossable. In my quest with love I am not looking to win I am looking to over come so that not one but all can see how strong I am, and the one person that needs to see it most can see that love can over come anything. With faith, beleaving in ur heart, and love anything can happen, it's then that the impossable becomes possable.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

As I Sit

I sit here and think about the past few days. I can see that the lord my God has me in his arms. Altought I may mot be eatting I have since changed my outlook on that, I am fasting. By doing so It is allowing me to see and hear things that I have not heard. The lord has my hand and he is taking the lead, I have more than I can handle and he is guiding through it, he has showen me why my heart was on fire in my dream that I had he started the process there. My heart and soul must burn I must be reduced to the ashes from which I came in order to rebuild me so that I can have the thing for which I desire. I awake this moring with a since of peace and comfort. I have never felt so close to god in so many years. The love that I have not that I am letting Him in and allowing myself to love him I will be able to show that love to the ones that one matter most and two to all that I can see it. I can see that my next lesson that I have to learn is faith. Faith is something that we just have, but we do not bleave in it, if I am to let god bring me back to my love for which he gave to me I must have faith and began to belive that it will come to foristion not in my time but his time for I am not ready and the gift is not ready to recive that yet. I have made promices that I have all intenctions of keeping, I took my vowes to that person and I am going to keep them I am going to stay selabet till that day comes which I am so look foward to. And god is going to be with every step along the way. The figure that see in the far off distance is the one I am in love with, I beleave that to be the trueth, I have prayed about it and I have aske god to bring us back together. But for that to happen I need to give him what he wants right now and that is space. I know I will remind him that I am here that I love him and that I am looking foward to the day we will be one again. For that is all that I can do. I have to beleave that it will happen i need to have faith and begin to feel it in my heart. For with not feeling it I am still denying god the ablity to being it forth.

You know this could be so much worse, he could have died. Just cherash and be joyful that he is alive, and still cares the world for and beleave that day is coming that we will be together again just have faith, you prayed for it and god will give it back to you when you abd he is ready.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:U,Fort Worth,United States

Wonder

I wonder, what it would be like to work for a compony that that actully cared and treat people they way that any human should be treated. I can only dream what that would be like. I get up every day and go to work even though I know that I am going to be treated without respect by my boss. I get up and go to work everyday only becouse right now I have other alternitive but to do so. I am not afraed to let it out, for I am getting to where I can not hold it in any more. As most of you know I work for one of the largest companies in the US. I make less than others doing my same job working for other compoanies. I have a very hard time paying my bills, putting food on the table, and getting the meds that I need for me and my partner. I have to miss doses or cut my meds in half just to make them last. Everyday I go to work I have fight for the hours that I have and to get just one or two more. My bosses lie to me everyday. I have been wrote up three times for stuff they make happen to see that you get into troubled for say in not so many words you did it to yourself. I see them giving favor to others and ack like it is the normal thing to do. In the past two weeks I have felt threatened unwanted and put in a postion that I have tell customers I cannot help them for fear of lossing my jod becouse I will go over my time by one min. When it's fine for other people to do so. I have seen people be told to do this or that and you will get more hours or so we can make you full time to have just the oppaset done, they get less hours and looked over. Have seen people put in for a new postion just to never be interviewed for it, and manament said thy did. Where I work has a great set of values only if they would follow them, this compaony would be great to work for too if they would follow the values that it was found on. Is there not anyone out there that can help us, seeing we can not seem to help ourselives?
I wonder what life would be like for me and millions of others that I work with if our voice was truely heard and treated with respect. I have always been told treat others the way you would want to be treated, would be so nice if that was true. I daer not say anymore.

Wake up people!!!!! If we don't we will always be walked over. I do hope that someone will come to our aid.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Us

The other nite I whached this great show on the History channel called America the story of us. I loved it if u have not seen it u need to, it puts our american history in a new prostictive. It blows my mind that we are a people that given the right crcumtances that we can do just about anything. We all come from a line of people that can make things happen as long as we or yourself beleaves that it can be done. With a little hard work staying true to ones self and to god, we can make any thing happen. Even in today's time we can do this and we are doing it now. It is not to hard to see all u have to do is open ur eyes and see the chaleges that people are faceing today and how they are over coming what lies before them. It is a real motivator if u ever needed one. Exsample: did u know that the staue of liberty almost was not, it was the work of one man that came up with the idea of doing a fund raser to raise the money for the state of new York in order to reasemble her. He used his own busness to do it. Amazing I think. Then there are the ones that lived through the dust bowel and stod there ground and refused to leave like all the others, we have them to thank or we would not have the farms we have today feeding us and the world. So, if there are things in ur life u do not like then change it, stop crying about it. Only u have the will to do it, and if u do u will see that it will motavate others around you.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Home

R.I.P. My Sweet Angel

WoW, it has been sometime since I last sat down and wrote something. Well, I am sorry for the delay on writing, I just have not had all that much time. Now the one of the most important times of the year has pasted being Easter, I think I start getting back down to earth with you all. The insporation for this came to me just now seeing that I have a really heard weekend learning of the death of a really good freind and co-worker. Thous that read this I am sorry but I am not going to be naming her here, but I am sure that thous of you that i work with that read this will not have any problems figuering out to whom I speak of. 

She was a great insporation to me and many other that knew her. Her passing was very sudden and unexspected by many including myself. In this day and age you think that with all of the technolegy that we have that what happened to her could have been stopped. It really sadenes me so that doctors to day still relie on silly age limits to diagnose something. My good friend that passed on Friday April 9th 2010 had a form of cancer that is one of the most easiest to provit and treat if cought in the very early stages, but it can also be a silent killer for most doctors do not beleave that it can effict the young, that cancer does have a name it is called Colon Cancer. I have only known of one other person that was as young as her to have died from this and it was a cousen of mine that I never got the chance to meet for he was about the same age as she was and he past away about 2 or 3 years before I was even born. 

I have a great deal of sorrow in my heart, it as been sitting there since the news of her death was told me on Saturday the 10 of April 2010 around 7pm. I was in shock when Ron told me for just two day before we had found out that she had been give two or three weeks to live. She took it apon herself to shild us all from what was going on, for she wanted us all to remember her when she was at her best. She only found out about the cancer that clamed her life only a few months earlier. I remember many thing about her, and one of the favorit things is this. Not to long ago a movie was rerelased on to dvd, called Marry Poppens. (great movie by the way) in this movie the is song and in that song this phrase is said, "A spoon full of sugar helps the medican go down" she heard me sing that one day at work. Every time that see saw me and i was not happy or she need a smile she asked me to sing it.... (tears in my eyes). I miss her so.. and thats seems like it was only yesterday, that i did that, but I know it has been a few months. 

I know that she was had come to terms with what was going to happen to her in the end. For she stated it in her last blog that she wrote on her myspace account. It does ease the pain some to know that she was happy and at peace with herself, family, friends, and with GOD. She may have not been given a fair chance to fight the battle. I know that she did fight it with all that she had. God spoke this to me early sunday when going to work (tear filled drive) She may have not won the battle, But I have won the war for her, For see she is with me and No Harm Shall Ever Come Apon Her Again. When I came home from and very hard emotional day at work I had a peace about myself. I didn't say much at all, I ate my dinner, stared at her picture, took a shower. Then something told to look in the BOOK (bible). I was not sure why, but as alway I would know why when I came across it. I and sure enough I did. 

I am only going to write some of this not all at lest I hope, I guess we will see what God wants me to do. After about 20 mims of thumbing around the good book I came across PSALM 18. and I was shown something very dear that helped ease my sorrow filled heart. I felt theses word in my soul This is what is it is like, for have no worries my child.  

and i read this.. 

Psalm 18 (kjv)

1 I will love thee, O Lord, my strength. 2 THe Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation. and my high tower. 3 I will call upon the Lord. who is worthy to be prasised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. 4 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid. 5 the sorrows of hell compassed me about: the sares of death prevented me. 6In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears. 7 Then the earth shook and trembled: the foundations also of the hills moved and were shaken, becasue he was worth. 8There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mounth devoured: coals were kindled by it. 9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down: and darkness was under his feet. 10 And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: yea, he did fly upon the wings of the wind. 11 He made darkness his secret place: his pavilion round about him were dark waters and think clouds of the skies. 12 At the brightness that was before him his thick clouds passed, hail stones and coals of fire. 13 The Lord aslo Thundered in the heavens, and the Highest gave his voice; hail stones and coals of fire. 14 Yea, he sent out his arrows and scattered them; and he shot out lightneings, and discomfited them. 15 Then the channels of waters were seen and the foundations fo the world were discovered at thy rebuke, O Lord, at the blast of the breath of thy nostrils. 16 He sent from above, he took me, he drew me out of many water. 17 He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them which hated me; for they were too strong for me. 18 The prevented me in the day of my calamity; but the Lord was my stay. 19 He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, becasue he dlighted in me. 20 The Lord rewareded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me.

Well I think that says it all right there. There is way more to that Psalm than that. But That was what i was compeled to read and to shear with you all. I know that there are many interpations of the word, but to me and what i heard in my soul today when I came apon this, to me this is about what she went through. In when she came to teams with her battle she had Cried out to the Lord and he heard her cry. This is how I know that she may have not won her worldly battle, but GOD one the war for her, and in doing so he called her home. 

I do not clame to know what death is like or what one may or may not feel when it happens, but from reading just that small passageed it gives me hope and it shows me in my mind that when we can no longer fight the battle the God our Lord with come down with a vingence and scoop us up, take us home and declear victory. If this is what death is like in a strange way I look foward to that day, For I know that She was victorius and so shall I. 

May Sweet angel may you Rest In Peace. I look foward to the day that we will all be there with you stand beside the Lord and our God.

Rant Rant Rant .....

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS SOLE MY OPTION AND MY RIGHT GIVEN TO ME BY THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA'S CONSTITUTION


Rant Rant Rant Rant that is all it seems that I can do right now. Well, I am only ranting because that is what i am pushed to seeing that very little people seem to care, or if they do they don't want to say anything to the fact, as to be sympathetic to someone for they feel the same way.. For they don't want to jeopardize what they have. GIVE ME BREAK and you know who you are. For once can some one just please do the right thing, other than me.. Well, hell that just like want to have it cold when its hot and hot when its cold here in Texas. 

Ok so this is the deal, i got wrote up the now yesterday for something that happened on Saturday. when it should have been addressed on Sunday and it was not. I makes me think that Asst. BOB (i will call him) is a CHICKEN SHIT... anyway. I was put on what wally world calls a D-Day all because I didn't put TD by a task that i was assigned by another associate which should be have been a manager. One, it was busier than shit that day, two of our fellow workers in the department most of the time were mm... lets see sent to the front end and to unload trucks... and management deiced it was fine for them to send one of them home 3 hours early. mm... so what is important or what do you think is important. the customer or you tasks? Well one would think the same as I the customer right mm wrong, the task then right, mm wrong. it is both according to management. or in this case the customer oh but yet they have gall to tell you have to take care of your task done no mater what. boys and girl its the task right ,, no no no say manger its the customer, ok but you just said the task is first no thats not it, the customer is, ok so the customer is first, no no no say the manger the task must be done no matter what... ok I AM SICK OF IT. Forget them.... your damned if you do and your damned if you don't... go fig. the walmart way... 

Oh, how true it is. i have doing some reading that's why am still up. and i have come to this conclusion. one, if you are a good little worker they will find a way to get ride of you because you are the one that will stay around and not advice up the walmart chain. so they must find away to get you to move on. so what better way to do this than to confuse the hell out of you. do this not that no, do that not this. and so on. 

you know i don't have a four year degree for Harvard but i am pretty damn smart because daddy didn't raise no fool. i know what they are doing i have figured it out for the most part. One i am not that much of conformist. i ask to many questions when things don't make since i.e. the whole task vs. customer. and no over time but you have to get done. is just another way of saying that you need to work through your break, and work till you can not run a registrar and system makes you take a meal break. oh and if you can work without pay to... Dum ASS....

OH DEAR WAL-MART HEAR MY CRY SCREW YOU BIND OVER MY FRIEND BECAUSE YOUR TIME IS COMING I KNOW IT WILL AND I WILL BE THERE TO SEE TOO. I WILL LAUGH IN YOU FACE AND SAY WHOS THE @#%! NOW...

I am sorry i always knew walmart was not a good company, and they have provded it yet again. I know people i am stuck were i am at lest for the moment I have FAITH IN GOD ALMIGHTY that He will take me in the direction that i need to go. I also know that he will deliver me from this hell called walmart. If you can not tell i am highly mad about this. And i have every right to be. but i do not wish the worst on them oh how i would but i know that it is not the right thing to do. But i do wish blessings upon them that cause pain to all of GODS children i pray that all wrong doings will come to pass 3 to 9 times fold to thous that preform the wrong doings.

one of the Blog entries tonight talked about something that started up north, that walmart was planing on doing this changing there work force to 80%(75%)part time works and 25%full time staff. Well i can see this in my store. well you just need to read it for yourself. http://www.walmartsucks.org/ and it was posted Thursday, December 20, 2007.
if nothing else you should read at lest that but the whole Blog is very enlightening. so check it out find out who you are really working for. As in another post said "Wal-Mart Corporate culture is one of contempt for Jews and remember Jesus was Jewish so they hate him too." from http://www.walmartsucks.org/ posted Friday, November 30, 2007 titled Looking for a lawyer to sue Wal-mart #11, Wal-mart's Supposed Contempt for Jews

and i leave you with one last thing, "Needless to say, if sam walton was alive today, he would be giving managers like that the pimp hand for being so stupid." http://www.walmartsucks.org/ posted Friday, September 28, 2007 titled At Wal-Mart, Satan's Rules Rule